Challenges of a Mom Working Outside the Home: The Missing Supporter

A friend suggested that I could periodically touch on the topics applicable to women who work because it is a touchstone for countless toiling souls.  I had a moment of fear shortly after starting this blog that I had picked a limiting theme, i.e. business, since it is already mined by so many.  I was afraid that I might run out of things to say in this particular arena.  Well, I’ve put that fear to rest for now.

 

First I want to touch on the title – I chose the phrase ‘mom working outside the home’ deliberately because this can encompass moms who volunteer, moms who work for pay part time and moms who work for pay full time.  I have been a stay at home mom and a single mom supporting my boys with a full time job.  Running a household and mothering a family are quite admirable in and of themselves, add in activities outside the home and, whew, complications are the name of the game.

 

A big and constant mom job is to provide support to your children, such as being a cheerleader on the sidelines of sporting activities.  I am not athletic, somewhere out there are a handful of people who can tell you a thing or two about my one season playing softball.  Hopefully they have forgotten.  Anyway, I did feel it was very important for my kids to experience different sports and I was always on the sidelines, regardless how much I understood about the rules of the particular sport.

mom challenge

Until I started working full time and my older son started high school.  I had an arrangement with my boss that I could work comp time on days that he had games as long as I was current on my tasks.  But sometimes this meant that I didn’t get to the game until after the half.  And then there was the time that I got there in time to see him boarding the bus to head back to school.  He seemed ok, but I got back in my car and cried.  I had failed him in my role as supporter and it made me feel sick.  Meanwhile, I had slap-dashed a task to be able to race out of work in time to get to see him board the bus.  Doubly sick.

 

My boss had kids of her own and understood well mother-angst therefore.  My son told me he knew I was with him in spirit and this way he was assured that I wouldn’t shout out from the sidelines (he wasn’t a fan of actual cheering on my part).  This happened about ten years ago, and you can see that it is still a wound.

 

How do we reconcile all the parts of ourselves and keep them true?

 

© 2013 Practical Business | Reasonable Expectations

 

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