Confidence and Surety are not Necessarily a Package Deal

Being sure, having certainty – we seek this state.  Knowing where we are, what is expected, where we are going is comfort.  We are confident when all these conditions are met.  But it is hard for these conditions to be met because the world is confusing and complex, so we rarely feel confident.


What if we thought about it all differently?  Years ago I participated in a seminar at work that helped me to frame the thinking that I am sharing today.  I don’t recall the title, or the objective, but the most important part was an acronym – SOS – standing for System, Others and Self.  We have little or no control or influence over the systems in our world (more with closer and smaller systems, less with broader or farther systems).  We have some influence, but no control over the other people in our lives.  That leaves us with control over ourselves and decisions to make about what will have influence in our lives.

Taking a confident pose, like Superman, can bring on the feeling.

Taking a confident pose, like Superman, can bring on the feeling.


We feel uncertainty with so little control, rightly so.  But that doesn’t have to mean a lack of confidence because we have control over the most important part – ourselves.  (I will say that experience really helps with this lesson as well.)  If we focus our energy where we have the control, we will gain in confidence.


We have skills, and can build on them toward some wanted or needed thing.  What we cannot do for ourselves, we can seek out someone who can and create a team; sharing abilities for greater strength.  This will build confidence.  Which can then lead us to grow in our skills.  Which can increase our confidence.


The uncertainty from our surroundings, system and others, hasn’t changed but our view of it has done so.  It takes some practice, I’ll admit.  And there are days when the uncertainty will have more power than any confidence that you can muster.  But you can be confident that you can find a way to build it up again.


© 2013 Practical Business | Reasonable Expectations

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